Grief

January 16th is Brian's birthday. Brian my little brother 18 months younger was killed on Vashon Island when he was 11. I told the story before. My kitty went missing on his birthday. Pauly. a Hemingway Cat. The next day, I found her, dead. I heard cats in my head for a day. Not only her quiet mew, but my other cats, who have made the passage from this world through the veil. The veil was thin that day, It seemed like a portal had sucked her up and spit her out where I could see her the place where I didn't see her the day before. And all death is merged with these tears. This heart spasms and chokes letting the world's grief show me where I still can find her. Where she remains a part of me.

Let it Stand

I've not had the nerve or impetuous to check KS. The words in my head are 'Let it Stand'
so I am avoiding even checking my email. How mature is that? Fear takes many forms.

zombies

I am studying Seth Speaks It talks about those infinity points that I have been seeing and exploring in my meditations. Fascinating to think about.+Especially, in this world, at this time. Weaving the highest possibility points into these days of the Grand, grand cross seems to be the ticket here. We just need to find out how to discern our emotions and where our thoughts are coming from (others or our true self? reaction or decision?) so we know which way to go.

the Epiphany

The third day of Christmas

Plutocracy
The absurdity of the attack is that it is an attack against the self
All that you dream
Comes crashing down upon your head
Because all will be revealed
down-
cut by the knees
you fall
On your face
singing praises to God for stopping you
You awaken and know that you were had
the epiphany
I salute you


I finally found the fix for my computer after trying to restore a few times and failing
finally after days of slow trying I went to control panel maintenance Yeah.

The Family Pluto Sun/Moon Cancer (the crack)

yesterday, we ress urected an ancient laptop with no monitor, so I put the downed desktop monitor and a keyboard onto it an voila. Hopefully, I can use its camera tonight. Happy New Years!
My macbook went down on the WSF ferry when it randomly started indexing on Christmas Day. I came home to my PC down too. We will see how long this one lasts. I am being edgy on this edgy day while the bad guys are planning to take the USA down economically today and tomorrow.

By the 'bad guys' I mean the main players of the Economic Empire. Family can mean many things.
I've been meditating on infinity and how you can go in both directions of all directions smallest largest and in the third dimension the polarities of each point. Large can become infinitely small and small can become infinitely large. It can be played with for balancing the system in case of emergency.