Christmas Guilt

Master of my sloth
my guilt lingers like a hammer over my head
Christmas cards, No, I internally scream at childhood wounds from expectations and misspelled words.

My cousin's wife just lost her mother and my heart is with her and her family but the guilt of unwritten sympathy and thank you cards etches its way into all things in my life and stops me. My guilt. Have I murdered anyone? No. have I intentionally hurt anyone. No.

Christmas to me is not fun. it is a chore. Expectations. I don't want to do expectations anymore. I want to connect in a real way. I like the lights. I like the idea of Santa. so how can I get in the grove and drop the guilt?

Private see

the problem with the privatization of fire department, prisons, customs, police,the military, NASA, transportation, roads etc. is the example of a fire department- Fire departments need fires in order to make a profit. Or they need to charge a lot. If you are poor , you burn. then your neighbors burn, and then the rich are threatened. because like rats crawling out of the toilet, humans will find a way to survive. In all one could argue that it is easy money for the suckling corporations to ravenously take the peoples money saying it is for the protection of the commons, and have the contractors set random fires to generate more need for money. The government becomes the IRS take from the ninety nine and give to the one percent. Make us poor and every one will suffer allow unregulated spraying for weather manipulation geo engineering style and nobody will want to live on Earth, without trees wild trees without birds -without the wild= I say that is unacceptable even to the ones who think they 'profit' Deeply asleep they are. By definition of profit they are in conflict with the force of what government is for Government is for the General welfare of all of us -not just carpetbagging, brown shirts who think that they are the chosen ones. yes. chosen . but by who or what?. Coal and hellfire- their time is up and they don't likey.
think of the preamble to our constitution: We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

The force of commerce has been twisted into gluttony - (as I recall gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins) Many Billionaires are crybabies who want all the presents on Christmas Day. Santa still hands out coal. Pluto concurs.
I think it is a great idea that all emails are archived. that means someone can decipher the truth of it all... someday....soon......run run run pants on fire

tight rope

tangle
how to navigate relationship

sad
not wanting to scream
it is inevitable that I do
boundaries to the unbounded energy of youth
youth stagnant with party
they are legion are the words that I find


how do I direct someone else's life? I don't .
I can only change my response
my response right now is wanting to control him
he is MY son. He is nineteen.

I don't want to worry but I am not deprogrammed and it sits
like a tied up elephant in my diaphragm area.
All the worst is so easy to vividly imagine. My problem
- I forget to believe in his spark and destiny. but part of his destiny might be a swift boot and packed bags. Maybe I should be the one to move? Hawaii sounds nice.

December 10, 2012
this is the future and shame on me for not reading my comments for over two years....I never knew any one really read my posts. woops . I will try to say where photo's come from from now on.... I don't take pictures but assume if I post them on the web that they are part of the commons. which I find beautiful. I think I should make a better effort at acknowledging peoples art. but really lets share. It feels better. breath.

lIST OF HERBS FOR THE DAY

respiration-

Usnea- lichen- identify use Internet info. boil for three minutes wring out and place Usnea (about 4 parts vinegar to one part spongey wad of (Usnea) ) Use vinegar w/ a mother- blend in blender until Usnea is suspended and hard to see-. Take one teaspoon (four droppers) three times daily Even is said to be a consideration with Anthrax
monsanto is trying to kill the herbal plant kingdom The direction for them is Hell fire - go into hell now.

Yellow Dock roots - clean & cut into chunks- fill jar two thirds full- add boiling water let sit can start drinking and add more boiling water after 5 minutes. (You can replant the crowns of the herb in thanks to the herb) Yellow dock supports the blood and digestion of emotions = use occasionally for support as drawn to it. Not for long term everyday use.

Yarrow- roadside field happy herb- grows along a beach that I know cheers the system. Use it to let go of grief and other peoples energy.

Oregon Grape Root

Use to replace goldenseal. good all around generation of energy. they grow in tribes as all plants do. Respect their root systems and replant the donor plant near its tribe or move to a more available location.