testimony
Some might say that I am here to bring the light
Out of the darkness
it springs
If we get down to the soul -now that I am dead- I chose darkness because of a cowardice that crept into my life at a young age
The wound was deep
thousands of miles in a mind shaft I fell
as I was pushed to perform
The smiles were for the others
She wouldn't smile unless others were looking at her. A wooden crazed smile I see today In my memory
I ask this night If memories are really real or are they like dreams? I am dead now. At least I find myself reflecting on that body which lays in a filtered Haze Why? neutrality.a golden shirt memory. a happy time when I was ten. The rest a torture of structure, unflinching demands.
I have a memory of looking in the mirror and seeing her teeth - not in joy but in hunger to draw blood from me. Her fangs, Me cruel like her, how else could I survive? Deep down I knew I had to become her system, Her as a male only bigger. On a global scale. A thirst to be the only one who can do anything to anybody. Feeding on fear I was carnivorous only now do I understand its folly. Only now do I feel my dear friends shriveled bodies= those who I called my enemy I know now were my teachers, my healers, my community I let them die for my thirst for power over all things. Only now do I know the folly of the lie . the reflective nature of man is imprinted with fear and lies. .Forgiveness melts=>Like water on the wicked witch