My laptop took a spill so I got my desktop somewhat fixed.
I've been trying to focus and study my thinking and my emotions.
I am going through an eight week coaching process
by having dialogue with the Somatic Self, the unconscious patterns that make up the recipe for my life. Having family members die suddenly has dented and warped my belief in this life.
I dropped Forrest off at Ian's around one fifteen pm November 4, Friday, and I haven't heard from him since. If I had not been a banshee after Forrest got punched and hospitalized with traumatic brain injury (the end of August) I would call the Sheriff's office. I haven't been sleeping much either nights, ?This pacing feeling in me. Like I am caged and something awful has happened. I keep having different male energy in my space, energy that I don't recognise, some is familiar.
Part of me soothes myself, by studying the Science of Mind, and trying to think healing thoughts so I can have healing energy and send it to him. Part of me thinks he's off Island, with friends and part of me thinks he's been kidnapped or is laying in a ditch somewhere or more likely arrested and games of withholding telephone calls. or some vivid and horrible worry.
With Mars conjunct my natal Pluto (Forrest is an Aries and so is Ceily) Uranus trine Uranus, Jupiter Trine Jupiter, and Neptune trine Neptune, I would expect it to be intense but I want it to be intense in a good way instead of being swept away by the potential for grief of the highest magnitude. , I am sure all will pan out and all is well but for now I am swept away with conflicting emotions.
Last week, I had a vivid dream of a fire raging like explosions coming at my house, down from a mountain at me, less than a block away, I could hear the helicopters and a roar of loudspeakers and I was on the deck saying to my Mom to Pray for us and that I was going to go hose off the decks.
Then on Wednesday night, the Owl standing in the middle of the road, the duck standing in the road of Friday ( a coot) and young bucks everywhere on the side of the roads. This is now my journal. Not going to go much further than my own life in it for now
