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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Christmas Guilt



Master of my sloth
my guilt lingers like a hammer over my head
Christmas cards, No, I internally scream at childhood wounds from expectations and misspelled words.

My cousin's wife just lost her mother and my heart is with her and her family but the guilt of unwritten sympathy and thank you cards etches its way into all things in my life and stops me. My guilt. Have I murdered anyone? No. have I intentionally hurt anyone. No.

Christmas to me is not fun. it is a chore. Expectations. I don't want to do expectations anymore. I want to connect in a real way. I like the lights. I like the idea of Santa. so how can I get in the grove and drop the guilt?